Today I'm going to get a little serious and post about a subject that touches the lives on many of us, sadly. The subject that I'm going to mention is a serious one- and that is, domestic abuse. Although because instances of it are so overwhelmingly high in Oregon, I think it's appropriate. In fact, I'm willing to bet that each of you has either been a victim, or witness, or knows someone that has been a victim.
- Police records indicate that 40% of all violent crimes reported in Portland involve domestic violence, with 15 to 20 calls made to police each day.
- The level of domestic violence in Oregon has remained constant, despite an overall decline in violent or serious crimes.
- Domestic violence incidents accounted for 23% or all aggravated assaults in Portland and 35% of all homicides in the tri-county area since 1976.
- The leading cause of homelessness among women and children is domestic violence.
Did you know?
- In 2003, eight Portland metro area women were murdered by their domestic partners.
- Each year, four million domestic violence assaults occur nationally.
- One out of every three women will be assaulted by her partner or date during her lifetime.
- Even if children are not the intended partner, abusers have a negative impact on their children, by their domination and controlling tactics and their physical or sexual assault of the children’s mother.
If you have ever been involved as a victim of domestic abuse, or know someone that has, I highly recommend this book
, entitled Why Does He Do That?
by Lundy Bancroft.
I'm not ashamed to admit that I was a victim of domestic abuse shortly after moving up here from California to be with my now ex boyfriend, who was physically and verbally abusive to me. He went to jail, finally was forced to leave me alone, and I've been putting back the pieces of my life ever since. That was about thirteen months ago.
Out of all the time spent in therapy, and all the things I did for myself to heal, I have to say that this single book has helped to heal me more than anything, because I finally know the answers to the question, "why?'' Reading and reconstructing what happened to me helped to open my eyes tremendously, because it stopped me from doing what I did for a long time- and that is, to blame myself.
I really think everyone should read this book. After it happened to me and I eventually started reaching out to people, I was shocked to learn that some of the most intelligent and strongest women I know were victims, just like me. In it are some common myths about abusers, which even I had fallen under the spell of. This book has helped me shatter the myths and indentify the real true problematical attitudes that are the underlying factor for the reasons men abuse. In some ways it is so simple, I'm not sure why anybody hasn't shattered the myths before and taken a look at the problem more closely until just recently. Despite how enlightened and progressive we think we are, domestic abuse continues to be problematical, especially
Please do yourselves, your loved ones, and your community a favor. Pick up a copy of this book, and educate yourselves. It's also loaded with a ton of resources for just about everyone.