February 27th, 2007

omg kitty

,m4 jkrthvotrgiobtg lj



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white flaky stuff

Dear White Flaky Precipitation,

You have begun to lightly fall in my neighborhood. While you are still not sticking, you are making it extremly cold. You have caused undue labor on my part and i am asking you to cease and desist. You have forced me to build a fire in my bosses office which is taking time away from my quiet time for everyone else comes to work. Please go away and have your friend Mr. Spring come visit me instead. Thank you for being undertanding in this matter. See you after the fall.


Your frozen friend

P.S. Damn you!!!!!!  This does not mean I want you to fall harder. GO AWAY!!!!
  • Current Mood
    cold cold

Oregon Beaches...

I'm taking a friend to the coast tomorrow and would like some input on which beaches to take him to. He's from Southern California so I figure that the high of 43* low of 36* partial sun and definite showers will help acclimate him to the beautiful weather we endure here for several months each year. That and I think the look on his face when I jump in the water will be hilarious. Anyway...

I'm looking for beaches that:
- are within 50 or so miles of cannon beach (north or south)
- have caves or anything else to explore
- are NOT the backyard to a shit ton of houses
- usually have neat stuff wash up on them (you know...glass bobbles, shells, dead sea creatures, etc...)
- I don't have to take a fucking 20 minute nature walk to get to
- Have neat structures/covered areas where you can sit and watch the ocean and drink beer
- tide pools!!!!! (do tidepools even exist up on our part of the coast?)

  • Current Music
    electralane- gone under sea

Martial Arts?

Hello, Portland. Here's my question: I would like to start training in a martial art and I'm asking around for input about local instructors and dojos. I am much more interested in martial arts training in terms of discipline, sport, and self defense than I am in terms of competition or rabid violence. I think judo might be what I have in mind, but do any of the regular readers of this train here in Portland, or have recommendations for me to check out??

  • Current Mood
    contemplative contemplative
Larch Mount
  • taishi

LAN Party Business in Portland

I’ve hosted plenty of LAN parties in my time. I was wondering how feasible it would be to run a business hosting LAN parties here in Portland Oregon.

The set up would be a building with adequate power, air circulation, and space for about one hundred and fifty gamers and their rigs as well as space to get away from the computers for a time if needed.

Every weekend there would be a LAN party with the tournaments, prizes, and contests normally associated with an event of this size. There would be food and drink to purchase on site if desired and plenty of opportunity to meet other gamers in the area.

After running some numbers we estimated the cost to enter the party would be between $10-$15 a day or $20-$30 for the entire weekend.

Would anyone be interested in such a place if it existed? Does anyone know of an existing similar business that has the guest bring their own computers?

Thank you for your comments.


Tell me, fellow PortlandiaPhiles, where can I get a good milkshake on the West side?

I used to work at Fairley's Pharmacy and Soda Fountain on NE 72nd and Sandy and became accustomed to a certain quality of milkshake: thickness being the key factor here, but also not oversweet- especially with flavors like chocolate where it's easy to make it overpowering. I am also very very fond of milkshakes made on the old Hamilton Beach mixers- basically I want something that has character and isn't just ice cream run through a blender

Does the Nob Hill Pharmacy Cafe make milkshakes? I can't find out anywhere. If they did that would be awesome and solve all of my midnight milkshake craving issues.

Golden Girls

Hair schools?

I got an expensive as fuck pink/black/dark red dye job for xmas, but most of the pink has washed out. My highlights are fucking fancy, so I can not re pink it myself but I cannot afford to spend half a months rent at some goddamn bourgeois salon just for a touch up.


Is there a higher end beauty school somewhere trimet accessible that can fix my hair for me for around 50$ ? I can even bring the dye. Or am I trying to have my cake and eat it too?

An oldie but a goodie.

How Could You?
by Jim Willis

When I was a puppy, I entertained you with my antics and made you laugh. You called me your child, and despite a number of chewed shoes and a couple of murdered throw pillows, I became your best friend. Whenever I was "bad," you'd shake your finger at me and ask, "How could you?" -- but then you'd relent and roll me over for a belly rub.

My housebreaking took a little longer than expected, because you were terribly busy, but we worked on that together. I remember those nights of nuzzling you in bed and listening to your confidences and secret dreams, and I believed that life could not be any more perfect.

We went for long walks and runs in the park, car rides, stops for ice cream (I only got the cone because "ice cream is bad for dogs" you said), and I took long naps in the sun waiting for you to come home at the end of the day.

Gradually, you began spending more time at work and on your career, and more time searching for a human mate. I waited for you patiently, comforted you through heartbreaks and disappointments, never chided you about bad decisions, and romped with glee at your homecomings, and when you fell in love.

She, now your wife, is not a "dog person" -- still I welcomed her into our home, tried to show her affection, and obeyed her. I was happy because you were happy. Then the human babies came along and I shared your excitement. I was fascinated by their pinkness, how they smelled, and I wanted to mother them, too. Only she and you worried that I might hurt them, and I spent most of my time banished to another room, or to a dog crate.

Oh, how I wanted to love them, but I became a "prisoner of love." As they began to grow, I became their friend. They clung to my fur and pulled themselves up on wobbly legs, poked fingers in my eyes, investigated my ears, and gave me kisses on my nose. I loved everything about them and their touch -- because your touch was now so infrequent -- and I would've defended them with my life if need be. I would sneak into their beds and listen to their worries and secret dreams, and together we waited for the sound of your car in the driveway.

There had been a time, when others asked you if you had a dog, that you produced a photo of me from your wallet and told them stories about me. These past few years, you just answered "yes" and changed the subject. I had gone from being "your dog" to "just a dog," and you resented every expenditure on my behalf. Now, you have a new career opportunity in another city, and you and they will be moving to an apartment that does not allow pets. You've made the right decision for your "family," but there was a time when I was your only family.

I was excited about the car ride until we arrived at the animal shelter. It smelled of dogs and cats, of fear, of hopelessness. You filled out the paperwork and said, "I know you will find a good home for her." They shrugged and gave you a pained look. T hey understand the realities facing a middle-aged dog, even one with "papers." You had to pry your son's fingers loose from my collar, as he screamed, "No, Daddy! Please don't let them take my dog!" And I worried for him, and what lessons you had just taught him about friendship and loyalty, about love and responsibility, and about respect for all life.

You gave me a good-bye pat on the head, avoided my eyes, and politely refused to take my collar and leash with you. You had a deadline to meet and now I have one, too. After you left, the two nice ladies said you probably knew about your upcoming move months ago and made no attempt to find me another good home. They shook their heads and asked, "How could you?"

They are as attentive to us here in the shelter as their busy schedules allow. They feed us, of course, but I lost my appetite days ago. At first, whenever anyone passed my pen, I rushed to the front, hoping it was you that you had changed your mind -- that this was all a bad dream... or I hoped it would at least be someone who cared, anyone who might save me. When I realized I could not compete with the frolicking for attention of happy puppies, oblivious to their own fate, I retreated to a far corner and waited.

I heard her footsteps as she came for me at the end of the day, and I padded along the aisle after her to a separate room. A blissfully quiet room. She placed me on the table and rubbed my ears, and told me not to worry. My heart pounded in anticipation of what was to come, but there was also a sense of relief. The prisoner of love had run out of days. As is my nature, I was more concerned about her. The burden which she bears weighs heavily on her, and I know that, the same way I knew your every mood. She gently placed a tourniquet around my foreleg as a tear ran down her cheek. I licked her hand in the same way I used to comfort you so many years ago. She expertly slid the hypodermic needle into my vein. As I felt the sting and the cool liquid coursing through my body, I lay down sleepily, looked into her kind eyes and murmured, "How could you?"

Perhaps because she understood my dog speak, she said, "I'm so sorry." She hugged me, and hurriedly explained it was her job to make sure I went to a better place, where I wouldn't be ignored or abused or abandoned, or have to fend for myself -- a place of love and light so very different from this earthly place. And with my last bit of energy, I tried to convey to her with a thump of my tail that my "How could you?" was not directed at her.

It was directed at you, My Beloved Master, I was thinking of you. I will think of you and wait for you forever. May everyone in your life continue to show you so much loyalty.

A Note from the Author: If "How Could You?" brought tears to your eyes as You read it, as it did to mine as I wrote it, it is because it is the composite story of the millions of formerly "owned" pets who die each year in American & Canadian animal shelters.

Anyone is welcome to distribute the essay for a noncommercial purpose, as long as it is properly attributed with the copyright notice. Please use it to help educate, on your websites, in newsletters, on animal shelter and vet office bulletin boards. Tell the public that the decision to add a pet to the family is an important one for life, that animals deserve our love and sensible care, that finding another appropriate home for your animal is your responsibility and any local humane society or animal welfare league can offer you good advice, and that all life is precious. Please do your part to stop the killing, and encourage all spay & neuter campaigns in order to prevent unwanted animals.
  • offloe

(no subject)

Okay guys, I need some COMMUNITY MUSIC INVOLVEMENT. Can anybody fill me on decent community music ensembles that are worth being involved in? I am looking specifically for choirs or wind ensembles, with ideally a once-a-week time commitment. I know about the PGMC, but I can't do Monday nights, unfortunately.

I'm a PSU student, but my schedule doesn't fit with any of their ensembles. And I REALLY REALLY miss being involved in music. I play the tenor saxophone (both jazz and classical), and sing baritone. I also have vocal arranging skillz and have managed a couple small scholastic a cappella groups, if anybody randomly happens to know a place those would be useful.
Dr. Killinger.  Dr. Henry Killinger.

Airline help

Dear DPers,

I, unfortunately, have to attend a funeral in SLC this Saturday, leaving from Portland probably Friday.

I've tried all of the standard websites (travelocity, expedia, Southwest, etc.) but finding last-minute fares that I can afford is practically impossible.

Any suggestions as to where to look?

And, has anyone tried to get a standby flight? How does that work, or does it work at all? Can you just go to the airport the day you need to leave, and try to get standby seats? Is it even a cheaper route?

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.
  • Current Mood
    sad sad