February 13th, 2007

u.nik

low cost/sliding scale nard snipping?

ah, great and powerful damned.portlanders,
i come to you with a question which i'm pretty certain
has been asked approximately five million times but
which i cannot find the answer to as my search.fu
is teh sucketh.

i'm a poor starving artist, and it turns out
that my pussy has reached an age where his fuzzy little
balls have swelled and he's thinking prurient thoughts.
he's been looking funny at the dog and been caught trying
to get the guinea pig's phone number.

it's time my pussy has his nards snipped.

i am, however, intimidated by a number of $250.00, and
i'm not certain if that's an inflated number pulled from
the depths of my twisted brain, or a factual quote on de.nutting,
and would love to know if there are any lower cost options out there,
as i would love to be able to eat in addition to fixing my cat.

thank you. i promise i will name all the pussies my cat
will never father after you in grateful recompense.

Need a laugh?

I'm sick of saving all of my idiotic stories because they're embarrassing...

It was a great night to ride my bike the other night...
So after the process of getting my bike onto the street (it requires a certain special type of effort) I push off on my nifty cruiser.

My shoe lace gets tangled around my pedal while I'm moving....and since the brakes are of the push-back variety...I had to use my free foot to stop.

Sitting there for a few minutes contemplating and lamenting at the same time, since these quirky problems always seem to happen to me, I attempted to untangle myself. No such luck. I thought, "Hey I could remove my shoe!" but the gods of "Let's fuck with Kristen..." were in an especially hellish mood that night...aka my shoe would not remove itself from my foot, no matter how much effort I put into the task.

My last option was simply to fall over. In the middle of the street, in front of the baby Jesus (and yes, he did laugh at my precarious situation) and in front of my neighbors who already think I'm some sort of nut anyways...

Now I have embarrassed myself and scraped my knee like a 5 year old on some hellbent death mission. The only thing left to do was ride away as quickly as possible before my neighbors looked out from their garage (they like to build stuff...)

Things like this occur regularly to me. I've learned to laugh at them...now you can too.
  • rarebit

domain + space?

you people are probably savvy about it. who should I go through for domain registration and web space? free would be awesome. I'm using globat, and they tried automatically "upgrading" me which involved just taking some funds from my account (well they sent me some emails like "let us know if you DON'T want this.... which I ignored, because I have too much to sort through for that nonsense.) so yeah, not so cool! I condemn them in this public forum. anyhow, any recommendations would be appreciated.

need childcare?

Hey all!!!
I am new to the community, but I have been in Portland for about 6 months.

I am running a small childcare out of my home in NE, if anyone is interested shoot me an email: dottedcircles at gmail dot com
I do pick-ups from school/home. I am pretty flexible and open minded... what ever your situation lemme know and I can work around your schedule.

I am also in the market for a nanny position, I am looking for the perfect family so I am sticking with the daycare until that is found. If you are looking for a nanny shoot me an email and I will get back to you..

thanks!
love on the rocks

Looking for office space?

My company is pre leasing our new office building for this spring. We have 7 floors of creative, flex-space available at the Olympic Mills Commerce Center on 107 SE Washington. Some of you may be familiar with some of our other buildings, the Eastbank Commerce Center, home of Clark Lewis restaurant and across the street is our Water Avenue Commerce Center. This will be a Green Building, and will have tons of cool amenities like indoor bicycle storage, locker rooms and a green roof.

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Please send all inquires to leasing@eastbank1.com
  • Current Music
    Head Automatica
sun

Anyone know where I can find crystals for a friend, that aren't over priced?

Oh all-knowing DP's...

A friend is really into healing crystals and semi precious stones. Do any of you have suggestions where to purchase a relatively large sized stone/crystal for a good price?

I checked out the Body, mind, spirit Expo a year ago and saw a booth that had really good prices... but I didn't know any one with the interest at the time. Now I wish I could recall what business it was. (though I need it by tomorrow, so internet is out of the question at this point).

Any and all suggestions would be most appreciated.

I know about New Renaissance, The Fossil Cartel, and Healing Waters & Sacred Spaces.

Also, being this is Portland, they might run a lot higher than I'm used to, but I remember when I was in Geology back in La Grande, I saw stones and minerals for far, far less.
  • Current Mood
    determined determined
stop it

Best random encounter EVER.

I SAW RALPH NADER IN THE HAWTHORNE POWELLS NO MORE THAN AN HOUR AGO.

I was buying a video game guide and the lady was making shushing motions at me? And then she grabs my arm and says to STAND HERE, Ralph Nader will be here in like, two minutes cos he's signing books for us!

Just thought I'd share. :D
Fatty Goldfish

scarfs?

i have an overload of handknitted scarfs, and i really need money :( taxes are no good this year, and i need to help my parents.

would anyone be interested in some of them, or know anyone that would like a handknitted scarf? or possibally know of a good place that would sell them for me? i was selling some at the 3rd girl, but they closed...

any suggestions, sales, or advice will be very appreciated :)

examples of my work: http://antishift.org/browse.php?disp=archive&archive_id=593

DAAAAAAAAANG

I just signed up for Cycle Oregon (finally). Anyone else here considering doing it this year??
The ride isn't posted online yet, but I assure you, it's going to be beyond magnificent.
belle

Feist Lover's Spit

In honor of Valentine's day, would someone be a sweet heart and gmail Feist's version of Broken Social Scene's Lover's Spit?

I've already searched on the Hype Machine, and that was a no go.

So if anyone happens to have it and wouldn't mind taking 2 minutes to gmail me it, I will be eternally greatful.

ucantcumin@gmail.com




Thank you all, and happy valentines day even though so many people hate it.
onyx

taxes

Does anyone know the legalities on the time frame you must receive your W-2's from your employer?
I work for the dreadful starbucks and I haven't received them yet. I called the partner number and it said to call back if I haven't gotten them by tomorrow. I'm a little nervous because last year I didn't get my W-2's at all. When they didn't show they told me I had to fax a request in order to get another copy. So I did and still didn't get them. As a result, I could not file my taxes from starbucks last year.
Do I have any legal right to do something about it? Especially if this happens two years in a row.

Thanks in advance
  • Current Mood
    stressed stressed