My email this morning brought the usual cavalcade of porn spam and misleading come-ons for various investments, a few LJ comment notifications, and more porn spam (see grannies get drilled!!). And, now that the NBA season is almost underway, the Blazers have started bombarding me again. I think they have an employee devoted solely to ME.
Today's desperate Blazer plea was a little different, though. The marketing department has decided that, instead of promising something mundane like a winning season, a good team, or competently-played basketball, they will gain more Blazer converts by selling DANGER and UNPREDICTABILITY:
Yes, young teams are scary and unpredictable--but they're also exciting,
enthusiastic and willing to try just about anything because...well...
they don't know any better! On any given night you may see something
that you've never seen before--and may never see again.
Whoa! They are "willing to try just about anything" because "they don't know any better!" We're not even going to coach them! Youth will be served!
You can imagine the announcements at the Rose Garden: "As a special note to our guests seated in the first several rows... please be aware that the TrailBlazers assume no responsibility for your personal safety. One of our players could leave the playing surface at any time. They are willing to try just about anything."
Management should just go all the way on this one. Let's REALLY give the fans a show, and let them "see something they've never seen before." Knife fights! Fans selected at random and devoured by lions! Zach Randolph hustling in the fourth quarter, down by 15 points! Someone on the team with an ability to make a 20 foot jumper!
Man, I'm getting all excited about basketball again.