thanks :D :D
Many of us realize that there are some core values that must live within the family system in order for it to thrive as opposed to merely survive.
Trust, honesty, partnership, purpose, vision, and commitment are all essential to healthy family relationships. However, the missing link lies in the experience of accountability, taking ownership for our results through the power of choice. Without this critical element, everything else becomes secondary or pales in comparison.
Somewhere back in our early school days, we were first introduced to the theories surrounding CAUSE and EFFECT. In conjunction, we also became aware of the distinction between ACTION and REACTION. Surely, we are convinced that these principles have direct applicability to the core of human relationships. In the realm of the family, cause and effect take on very significant proportions in terms of creating lasting results. It is clear that we are either making things happen or things are happening to us.
How can we even begin to demonstrate any degree of control in our lives without truly embracing accountability? Our choices are at the core experience of every relationship. Those choices dictate certain outcomes in our lives and reflect the stand we take toward every situation.
Accountability allows us to look at the impact of decisions we make based on limiting and/or empowering beliefs we are packing around. The challenge of accountability is that it allows us to examine the extent to which we allow ourselves to feel powerless in life by thinking something or someone else "did it to me."
There are significant numbers of family members who seem to have an affinity for setting themselves up to be the "victim" of someone or something else. They are miserable because they are either unconscious of the choices they are making or simply unwilling to take ownership of their choices. Self-righteousness, blame, and collusion take priority. There exists a cycle of insanity here as reasons, stories, and excuses (protection) take the place of clarity and creativity (possibility).
If we are to be truly honest and aligned within the family, we must realize that getting to the source of any issue requires an acknowledgement of how our choices and actions shape our experience and perception of everything. Blame is irrelevant. Instead, the point is to realize I was a participant in the event and had an influence based on my choices.
Most of us fear to be accountable because we misconstrue its real meaning. We mistakenly equate accountability with blame, fault, or being wrong. NO!!
Personal power stems not from fault, but from learning. True credibility with both parents and children lies in the willingness to live an accountable lifestyle. Accountability allows each of us to look at all of life's experiences and learn.
Living life from an accountable perspective literally transforms the context and quality of our relationships. It is a framework which creates more energy, power, and purpose.
In order to truly live accountability, we must LET GO of our need to be right and our need to look good and massage our precious ego-image. We must examine our family relationships and notice those instances where we are accountable vs. wallowing in our 'fur-lined' rut of victimhood.
What are the results?
What are the perceptions?
What is the legacy we wish to leave in the eyes of others?
We make the choice!
Life tends to work when we take credit for ALL WE CREATE.