To the woman parked in front of the Benson Hotel this morning around 9:30:
Me: Brunette in knee socks, riding Schwinn in bike lane on SW Broadway, late for work.
You: Beautiful, wearing silky gray skirt business suit and modish strappy black heels, bent over retrieving something from the back seat. Your car door and ass were sticking out into my bike line. But I didn't mind, cuz your ass is perfect
. I stared at it as I rode by and resisted the overwhelming urge to give your perfect ass a quick, neat, loud smack
. An ass like that begs for a firm hand!
But as a woman with an understanding of sexual harassment, I didn't think you would appreciate a surprise spanking from a biker-by, so instead I just swerved around your car door and your perfect ass into the car lane, per ORS 814.430§2c
, wondering if you know just how nice an ass you have.