anabellabobella (anabellabobella) wrote in damnportlanders,

Help needed for a newly single mom

I have a friend who lives in Portland right now, and she and her now-ex-boyfriend broke up.  Not a good situation, too much ex-boyfriend's-mommy drama.  Over their time together, the guy played her, bad, and trashed her credit.  He finally admitted he doesn't love her, and hasn't in a long time.  So now she needs to move out (they've been living with his parents, in the living room of the house).  There are some challenges.  In addition to him trashing her credit, she's been a stay-at-home mom to their 2-year-old son, and her fibromayalgia is pretty severe.  She has a highly degenerative form, and her doctor said she'll be lucky to see another five years without a wheelchair.  Getting disability would take years and she needs help NOW.  She's willing to work any jobs she reasonably can, though that would mean worrying about childcare.  When she tried holding down jobs where she is, her stupid ex always has excuses for why he couldn't watch his own son.  Usually a soccer game being on, or he's "too tiiiiiired."  I don't think Portand has much in the way of childcare assistance so moms can go work, and most entry-level jobs don't pay enough to cover the outrageous childcare costs there.  Child support is being lined up, at about $450/mo, and she applied for food stamps, and got approved.  So right now, that's her income.  TANF would be about the same as the child support.  And her credit is trashed, thanks to her ex and his family using it without her permission (good luck proving that though).  She needs to get out of there.  The ex's mom is becoming berbally abusive, and defended one of her sons putting his hands on the baby in a really rough way (that son is now in another state, but still, she defended a tiny little kid being shoved hard for being in the halway). I live in another state, and the son's dad won't approve of them moving out of state, even though he's not interested in the kid, or else I'd be driving to pick her up right now and crossing my fingers my own apartment manager would look the other way.  Her own family disowned her for leaving the JW church.  Almost everything that can be against her, is against her.  She's a good person, honest, willing to do whatever she can to earn honest money.

I don't know what advice to give her, or what help there is.  She's scouring Craigslist looking for rooms for rent.  Not easy with a kid.  She's looking for any work-from-home jobs so she doesn't have to worry about child care.  Most of those are scams.  How can she get out of where she is and into somewhere else that's safe?  I don't know if the ex's mom and her son count as abuse (the ex didn't do anything to stop it, and at times was outright, unquestioningly, verbally abusive to her, especially when he drinks), and if they do, what help there is.  She's having really bad panic attacks over this that's affecting her health horribly, and she's worried about her son now mimicking the crap he's seeing his dad's family do (he hits, and basically acts in a way a 2-year-old in a stable, good situation wouldn't even do as play).

Please, please someone have a magic solution, and if there's no magic, then some leads.  

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